Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
