My brain says no but my pants say off.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
pray to the hookup gods
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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