HIV tests are more positive than that guy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
