so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
