the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm like, not good at living.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
