It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
