So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
