the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
