Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
