Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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