What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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