oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
