i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize