And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize