You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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