she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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