Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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