Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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