You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
