You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
