Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
