if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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