I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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