bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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