Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So apparently I’m into choking now
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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