talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
