The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
