that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
