Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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