she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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