batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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