Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
