I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
