Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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