Whod you bang
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
