So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
