So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
