I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
