So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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