I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize