Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
