did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
