god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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