i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
