careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
