I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
