Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
