whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
