look no pants
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
