She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
