There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
