I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
