forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize