You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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