I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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