Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize