I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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