direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
