I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
