and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
