quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
