Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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